It has nothing to do with books, but someone just shared this with me and I am basically in love with it.
My dog is guilty of the first, third, and fifth of these. A bunch of my old paperbacks have the toothmarks to prove it, although she never did as much damage as the dog above. She also used to TP the inside of our house in protest if we left her for too long.
I love the Tardis Collar of Shame, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tolerate it. When we put her in the Collar of Shame to protect her leg, where she had some stitches, she bounced off the walls. Repeatedly. On purpose. So she ended up wearing a child's jumper instead. She was told it was a fashion statement and apparently believed it.
For added entertainment value, you can make your own. My sister and I started dog-shaming our poor little puppy: